You see, I didn't know that much of babies and I considered myself the weirdest person I knew.
So how was I going to take care of a little person, the half of me. These thoughts made me even more quiet than usual and those around me told me how I should feel.
I wanted to know you. I wanted to see who invaded my body and kicked my ribs till I had to lay on the library floor at University because of the pain. I knew that a combination of your father and I will definitely be something to see. I wanted to see the little person who gave me the strength to love your father as I always wanted to love him. Because loving someone without limits without fear of rejection or being hurt is a rare commodity. You were the one who gave me strength to walk past the stares and to ignore the whispers right up until I graduated at 8 months.
You were there through All my experiences. You were there to see my father and mother forgive me for disappointing them and looking forward to your birth. You were there when your Father and I got married and you protested against my wedding dress and broke the zip. You were there every single morning waking up with me at 5 Am to get ready for University. You were there with me walking from class to class, and climbing what seemed to be a million stairs. You were with me speed- walking for the bus because obviously I could not run. Cheers to us cause we never missed the bus. You sat through every boring lecture and every final exam. You were with me when your great- grandfather died and appreciated the fact that I tried to hold myself together because I did not want to stress you out. You proudly kicked my ribs as I walked to the stage to receive my degree and then you came three days later.
You came to early. It was clear from the start that you had a mind of your own. Kind of like Me.. Kind of Like your father.. I told your Dad something does not feel right. And he made sure to get us both at the hospital safely. The hooked us up at the machines and relief flooded the room when we heard your heart beat. You were excited about something.. and later we knew why. They kept the contractions under control with pills and needles and I started to think that maybe when the sun rose I would go home. Then the Doctor came in at 7 AM and announced ''No, this baby wants to come. I won't stop it.''. I was one of the lucky few contractions felt a bit like menstrual cramps up until I heard I was too late for an epidural. Then all of a sudden I felt the pain more acutely. 10: 33 AM you popped out and you never cried except for one small tear saying ''I'm Here''. I remember being extremely tired but staring into into your one blue eye that peeked out at me was probably the most incredibly thing. It assured me that you knew me all too well.
After I woke up, they rolled me out. And I was like, was that it? It isn't anything like the movies where the woman's screams reverberates around the world. Then I realise once again, not every woman is the same. And no, no not every baby is the same. You stayed a whole week in the hospital in ICU. The Sunday your Dad and I were prepared to fight tooth and nail for you to come home. But God had already ordained the day of your coming home. The week you were in hospital your dad was amazing. Besides the fact that he was the ONLY dad who came each and every single day. He was the only one who held his baby despite you being very small and very fragile. He also was the only dad to change you, feed you, burp you and stare and pray for you for hours. Besides that, he gave me strength to stand up when I was very sure I would die of exhaustion. I did nothing on my own. You and I were never alone. He was our Rock.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes I really don't know if I'm getting this whole motherhood thing right. But I do love you more than anything. I would die for you and work hard till the very end to give you anything you require. I would lose friends and family over you. I would go hungry if I have to.
So when I'm all weird, and dramatic or I'm embarrassing you
Remember... that out 6 billion people n this world God hand-picked me to be your mother..
Good Luck to the both of us
:)
You came to early. It was clear from the start that you had a mind of your own. Kind of like Me.. Kind of Like your father.. I told your Dad something does not feel right. And he made sure to get us both at the hospital safely. The hooked us up at the machines and relief flooded the room when we heard your heart beat. You were excited about something.. and later we knew why. They kept the contractions under control with pills and needles and I started to think that maybe when the sun rose I would go home. Then the Doctor came in at 7 AM and announced ''No, this baby wants to come. I won't stop it.''. I was one of the lucky few contractions felt a bit like menstrual cramps up until I heard I was too late for an epidural. Then all of a sudden I felt the pain more acutely. 10: 33 AM you popped out and you never cried except for one small tear saying ''I'm Here''. I remember being extremely tired but staring into into your one blue eye that peeked out at me was probably the most incredibly thing. It assured me that you knew me all too well.
After I woke up, they rolled me out. And I was like, was that it? It isn't anything like the movies where the woman's screams reverberates around the world. Then I realise once again, not every woman is the same. And no, no not every baby is the same. You stayed a whole week in the hospital in ICU. The Sunday your Dad and I were prepared to fight tooth and nail for you to come home. But God had already ordained the day of your coming home. The week you were in hospital your dad was amazing. Besides the fact that he was the ONLY dad who came each and every single day. He was the only one who held his baby despite you being very small and very fragile. He also was the only dad to change you, feed you, burp you and stare and pray for you for hours. Besides that, he gave me strength to stand up when I was very sure I would die of exhaustion. I did nothing on my own. You and I were never alone. He was our Rock.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes I really don't know if I'm getting this whole motherhood thing right. But I do love you more than anything. I would die for you and work hard till the very end to give you anything you require. I would lose friends and family over you. I would go hungry if I have to.
So when I'm all weird, and dramatic or I'm embarrassing you
Remember... that out 6 billion people n this world God hand-picked me to be your mother..
Good Luck to the both of us
:)
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